Science jokes for nerds (Šale iz domena nauke)

[Morpheus 5112]

1. I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

 

Čitam knjigu o anti-gravitaciji. Ne mogu da je spustim.

 

2. I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

 

Imam novu teoriju o inerciji, ali izgleda da ne dobija na ubrzanju. (igra reči: gaining momentum - postajati prihvaćen)

 

3. Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don’t believe in higher powers.

 

Zašto ateisti ne mogu da reše eksponencijalne jednačine? Jer ne veruju u više sile.

 

4. Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.

 

Šrodingerova mačka ulazi u kafanu. I ne ulazi.

 

5. Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.

 

6. A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:
“What do we want?”.
“Time travel”
“When do we want it?”.
“Irrelevant.”

 

Grupa protestanata ispred laboratorije za fiziku:

- "Šta želimo?"

- "Putovanje kroz vreme."

- "Kada to želimo?"

- "Irelevantno."

 

7. What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!

 

Šta kaže subatomska patka? Kvark!

 

8. A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies “For you, no charge”.

 

Neutron ulazi u kafanu i pita koliko košta pivo. Barmen odgovara: - "Za tebe besplatno," ( igra reči: no charge - bez naelektrisanja).

 

9. Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:
“Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive.”

 

Dva atoma šetaju jedan pored drugog. Jedan od njih kaže:

- "O, ne! Mislim da sam upravo izgubio elektron!"

- "Jesi li siguran?"

- "Da, pozitivan sam!" 

 

10. An optimist sees a glass half full. A pessimist sees it half empty. An engineer sees it twice as large as it needs to be.

 

Optimista vidi čašu kao napola punu. Pesimista je vidi kao napola praznu. Inženjer je vidi dvaput većom nego što bi trebala biti.